David Dimbleby presents topical debate from Hartlepool. On the panel are Conservative former chancellor Ken ‘the slug’ Clarke MP, Labour’s shadow education secretary Angela ‘ginger’ Rayner MP, runner up in the UKIP leadership election Lisa ‘Thornberry’ Duffy, former Greek finance minister Yanis ‘Roussos’ Varoufakis and the previous owner of the Daily Telegraph Conrad ‘prisoner’ Black.
Deep below the Palace of Westminster, that seat of British democracy designed by Charles Barry and Augustus Pugin – the latter soon afterwards to be housed in Bedlam where he was to die – there winds a ragged line of persons intent on making for a chamber that is unknown to most of the inhabitants and workers within the walls of this vast Castle Gormenghast. Only the leader, Kenneth Clarke, knows the true nature of the task ahead and he has gathered around him five others who share his apocalyptic vision of Britain’s future which must be made to come to pass. As they move along corridors and wind down forgotten and dark staircases, Clarke has some growing unease about his fellow participants.
“I could do with a gin and tonic”. A voice from the rear of the file echoes down the line.
“I don’t think it was a good idea bringing along Anna, you know”. Clarke had hesitated in his downward step on the staircase that led ever deeper. He turned to Nicky Morgan who almost bumped into him. “Keep an eye on the old soak. I don’t want this being ballsed up.”
Morgan who was beginning to wish she hadn’t been persuaded to join the group offered a solution: “I could take her back and we could try and find someone else?”
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