Tag: Tim Farron

2017 – What a year!

Northern Man, Going Postal
“I’m dangling from a lamp post at the corner of the street”

As we ease ourselves into 2018 I thought I would offer a personal retrospective of 2017, as I’m sure we all agree that it was quite an exceptional year in a number of ways.

There were so many highlights (and lowlights) that it’s hard to know where to start, but I’ve picked out a few of my favourites for your delectation.

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The Truth About Post Truth

Kipper, Going Postal

We live in a post truth world.

This year Post Truth has been named the Oxford English dictionaries’ word of the year. Despite it  being two words. In our world National socialists (Nazis) are labelled far right. Anyone the left  does not approve of is labelled a Nazi. And therefore ‘Far Right’. Despite Nazis being socialists and  by definition ‘Left Wing’. In our post truth world everyone who isn’t a leftist is a right wing Nazi.  People who judge others on the basis of their skin colour are not racist. People who judge others on  their gender are not sexist. The Labour party actively going out of their way to choose candidates on  the basis of their gender, but aren’t sexist. Feminists call for the death of all men, but aren’t  sexist. Yet people who try to treat people equally and not judge people on their gender are sexist.  We live in a world where feminists want to be treated equally by men yet when men do treat them as  they would treat men they flip shit. We live in a world where equality means different rules for different people. Where equal rights means certain rights for some but not for others.

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Under every stone lurks a politician

Flying Hippo, Going Postal

I am sure that all the contributors to Going Postal appreciate the high standard of puns provided by me on a  regular basis. No, no, no need for any thanks, your warm comments and the regular ‘coat’ piccies are thanks enough.   I am very pleased to report that I have purchased three new joke books from Amazon and I am putting the final  touches to a Christmas Pun Special, How do sheep in Spain say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad! You know the drill  by now! I can imagine you are getting a bit excited!

But it may surprise you to know I am not just GP’s self-appointed Pun Master but I am also a highly prized academic  from the University of Dewsbury where I received a double first in Philosophy, Politics and Eid.

I am worried that due to the real complex nature of our political system, some of you may feel a little left  behind, but fear not Hippo’s like to help and the Flying one is no exception.

I have picked four of our favourite politicians and put together a short biography on each one, just pertinent  facts so you are fully informed. This will enable you to impress your friends no end down the pub on a Friday  night.

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I was told by Remain it would be fiscal carnage

Eraser of Love, Going Postal

Tim Farron , thankfully not dressed as steve strange for once, on the Box Again groaning into the stratosphere about the great Lie, the £350 million per week to the NHS.

I had my gaff valued saturday, Its worth £15,000 to £20,000 more than in January 2016 , according to the Norman Collier doppleganger Estate agent. Despite the Remain campaign telling me if i voted leave , it would be worth less than Harry Roberts Army and navy Tarpaulin Bijou apartment in Epping Forest 1966 .

My pension Statement delivered last wednesday and dated the 31/7/16, has a total value of £1098 more than the total value statement dated 31/7/15.I was told by Remain it would be fiscal carnage , and its bid value more gory than a blood splattered 1995 Range Rover abandoned by a gate post in Rettendon Essex.

Continue reading “I was told by Remain it would be fiscal carnage”